Threesomes aren't for everyone. But if you think you and your partner have what it takes to enter into one, keep these 20 threesome tips in mind! By an Anonymous Fella
A threesome is every guy’s dream sexual fantasy.
Of course, the thought would entice many girls too.
But somehow, for a guy, it’s one of the big things-to-do in his bucket list.
Every virile single guy desperately wants to have a sexual threesome with two girls at least once in his life.
Have you ever wanted to have a threesome with another guy or a girl?
You can read about my first accidental real life threesome story here.
Sexual threesomes and the taboo associated with it
Contrary to popular belief, a ménage à trois, or a sexual threesome, isn’t really a bad thing. *just my opinion, of course*
And if you think it is taboo, that’s probably because society has caged your sexual urges and forced you into believing that doing anything beyond the missionary position makes you a deviant and a fetishist.
The feelings of love are strange and inexplicable.
And sexual desires, well, they’re just as crazy and unique.
Most partners who hate the idea of sexual threesomes probably do so because they don’t like the idea of sharing their partner with someone else.
Or secondly, they feel really insecure and threatened by the idea that their partner could be sexually attracted to someone other than themselves.
Sexual interests are to each their own. And if threesomes aren’t for you, don’t worry about it. There are a lot of sexual activities to indulge in that could still make sex feel like a horny rollercoaster ride!
Sexual threesomes and why it’s so exciting!
All of us have our own sexual threesome fantasies running in our minds every now and then even though we won’t all talk about it with anyone.
And watching porn, well, that brings out the darker, deviant sides within us all.
Watching porn makes us imagine things more clearly, and especially if you’re watching different kinds of porn while having sex with your lover, it drives your mind crazy and brings all kinds of dirty talking and sexual fantasies to the fore.
I remember the first time my girlfriend and I had discussed a threesome several years ago, while watching a porn video where one person was seduced into a threesome. It was a horny high and it had always been a closet fantasy of ours.
We didn’t really think we’d ever do it in real life. The thought of bringing a sexy someone to bed *guy or girl* was exciting while having sex, and talking about having a threesome with a sexy friend we knew would always get our minds racing to orgasmic highs. We even had better sex while talking about all these dirty things in bed.
It was all good, but we never really tried it in real life until recently, when the right circumstances cropped up. Now really, how often can any of us pop this question, “would you like to have a threesome with us?” to any respectable friends, and still expect things to stay the same?
Would you ever have a sexual threesome?
The thought of having a sexual threesome with someone can be pretty scary, and it’s riddled with insecurities and confusions. What if your partner starts falling in love with the other person? What if twosome sex gets boring after experiencing the high of a sexual threesome?
So many questions… and darn, just one way to find out!
Firstly, from my experience, I must warn you that if you ever want to have a threesome with your partner, both of you need to trust each other completely. And you need to use threesome sex as a means to heighten sexual pleasure and experiment in bed, and never as an excuse to get to have sex with someone else you’re attracted to.
If you ever look at threesome sex only as an excuse to make out with someone else without cheating on your own partner, you’re going about it the wrong way.
20 things to keep in mind before bring someone else into bed
All said and done, if you’re ready to have a threesome and you think your partner is too, read these 20 things to keep in mind before getting into a threesome. Of course, you don’t have to memorize them.
Just understanding these pointers will ensure that you don’t make any mistakes that could cost you a perfectly happy relationship with your partner!
#1 Don’t pick a friend. Avoid bringing a good friend to bed. The best person to have a threesome with is someone you know well, but preferably someone from another area code, or on a vacation spot.
#2 Romantic feelings. Neither partner should have any romantic feelings for the third person involved. It’s just sex. If you really want only a particular person in bed, you probably have some kind of feelings for them.
#3 Someone you know well. Avoid involving anyone you know well or have to meet regularly. It’ll just make things awkward if the threesome doesn’t go your way. And additionally, it’ll always make one of the partners feel insecure.
#4 Calm down. Drink a glass of alcohol to get rid of the nervousness.
#5 Build the intimacy. When three of you get together, don’t dive into bed immediately. Spend a while sitting together or having a few drinks. Build the intimacy so the threesome doesn’t end up feeling like an awkward experience with a random stranger.
#6 Use protection. You can’t ever be too careful about STDs. Always use just one hand to stimulate each partner and avoid interchanging hands. Keep a lot of condoms nearby, and switch condoms each time there’s a new penetration. Dental dams are a good idea too.
#7 No one’s left out. It’s very important that you focus on your partner because they should never feel left out. It’s possible that you could forget your partner or get distracted by the arrival of a new person in bed.
#8 Keep yourself involved. Run your hands over the other two people in bed even if you’re not directly involved or on top of someone else. Don’t kill the mood by appearing bored or sitting back in the corner because the other two are having sex or on top of each other.
#9 When one partner leaves the room. Stop whatever you’re doing when one partner leaves the room for any reason at all. Don’t get intimate with the third person, not even a kiss, if one partner leaves to use the toilet. It’s the safest way to avoid creating insecurities, especially behind your partner’s back.
#10 Penetration. Penetration is always a tricky subject. Speak about it with each other beforehand. But if you’re still unsure, avoid penetration unless you know your partner’s completely fine with the idea.
#11 Don’t leave love bites. Leaving hickies on the third person will piss your partner off. And if you get a love bite from the third person, that’ll irritate your partner too. So just to be safe, avoid any kind of passionate marks of love while having a threesome!
#12 Don’t be selfish. Threesomes are more about giving and satisfying the other two people than satisfying yourself. If you want it to go successfully, focus more on the others than on your own needs.
#13 Permission. If you’re not sure something you do would upset your partner, don’t do it. You can always look towards your partner for acknowledgement. Asking for permission from your partner for every single thing you do can kill the mood at times. Set clear boundaries initially with your own partner, and don’t forget them in the heat of the moment.
#14 The third person. Giving too much attention to the third person may make your lover feel ignored. It may seem selfish, but if you care about your partner and your own relationship, always make sure you give more attention to your own lover. The best way to make the third person feel more involved is by focusing on that person along with your own partner. No one feels left out, and yet, no one feels insecure this way.
#15 Staying in touch. It’s always better if the third person you bring into bed has limited contact with the partner of the opposite sex. If you’re the guy in the relationship, don’t get too friendly with the girl your girlfriend brings to bed, and vice versa. It’ll help your partner feel more secure, and it’ll also avoid any extramarital affairs in the long run.
#16 Orgasms. All three of you have to orgasm together, or in quick succession. Once the sexual high starts declining after a few orgasms, the person who’s just had their share of orgasms could get bored quickly and may be less inclined to stay involved with the other two.
#17 The final orgasm. This may not seem like a big deal right now, but it could definitely turn into a big red flag. If you’re the guy, make sure you finish up the threesome only while penetrating your own lover, and not the third person. And if you’re the girl and you’ve involved another guy, make sure you end the threesome by having sex with your own lover, and not the other guy.
#18 The third person shouldn’t sleep over, unless the three of you share a good bond already and don’t feel threatened romantically. The third person’s role here is to always ensure that they never come across as a threat to the couple’s relationship.
#19 The next morning. Yes, the three of you have had sex with each other the whole night. But if you’ve involved someone of the opposite sex in bed the earlier night, keep some distance from them after the threesome is over. Don’t cuddle up more with the third person or spend more time talking to them.
Let your partner know that nothing’s changed and you still want and desire your partner more than any other person. Just because you’ve had sex with a third person doesn’t give you any reason to ignore your sleeping partner and cuddle up with the third person or pillow talk with them!
#20 Nothing is ever too trivial to talk about. This is seriously the simplest, but also the biggest rule to remember. Making too many rules can kill the mood, but talking about each other’s feelings and doubts won’t. Speak with each other, and if even the smallest thought nags your mind, discuss about it with your partner. Remember, nothing is ever trivial here. And when you finally do decide to take the plunge, make sure you really are ready for it.
The most important tip to remember
If you and your partner have set clear ground rules and boundaries before entering into a threesome, don’t overstep those rules in the heat of the moment for any reason.
Sometimes, rules can feel like chores. But by following these rules, or at least keeping them in your mind, you can subconsciously try to avoid any threats to the relationship, while making your partner feel more loved and sexy at the same time.